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Five Unfortunate Facts About Awesome Music

five unfortunateThere’s nothing quite like awesome music. Awesome music can heal the soul. You can passionately sing along to it with fists pumping in the air. It can touch you deeply inside and change your whole outlook on life. It truly is a gift from the heavens and there’s nothing else like it on earth!

Sadly some things try to stop this amazing art from ever being heard. Others get in the way or just outright ruin the moment. This is a list of Five Unfortunate Things About Awesome Music!

lady gag makes dog shit, not music

#5. Mistaken Identity – Some people think celebrities such as Kanye West or Lady Gaga make awesome music.

They don’t.

Kanye West and Lady Gaga make Dog Shit.


Awesome music is Really made by guys like this.

Robert Pollard is Awesome
(Awesome music maker, Robert Pollard)

#4. People Talking – Sometimes you’re in the car and you put on some awesome music and your fucking mom or sister keeps talking and turning it down. This is very unfortunate and NOT AWESOME.

You can likewise be at a show and there’s a keyboardist creating subtle nuances of a sick synth line intro, but some dipshit keeps talking over the music about his stupid job while falling into you and spilling his gin and tonic in your hair.

Then he starts shit talking the band saying that his band (the one that makes dog shit) is so much better than these guys.

drunk guy


#3. They don’t get paid – So many artists that create awesome music don’t get paid. Maybe they make a little, but nothing compared to the people that make dog shit. Planet earth pays much more for dog shit than it does for awesome music. I wonder why that is?

dog shit pays


#2. Awesome music is highly disproportional to shitty music – The amount of dog shit currently being passed off as music on planet earth is mind boggling in comparison to the amount of awesome music being made. Some people say there’s no more good music being made at all. I don’t think this is true. There’s tons of totally awesome music out there and it’s being made all the time, it’s just that there WAY MORE dog shit being made than ever too.

It is my personal theory that the ease of production and easily affordable gear is mostly to blame for this. There are people out there that actually say things like “Anyone can make music” and “Talent doesn’t matter” This is like saying “a driver of a school bus doesn’t need a license”, or “Anyone can be a brain surgeon”. It’s just wrong. Awesome music takes passion, dedication, practice and inspiration. Anyone can make dog shit, but not anyone can make awesome music.

creed are dog shit(dog shit producers, Creed)


#1. The more people that like it, the less awesome it becomes –  Idiots ruin everything. There can be a great song and if for some unfortunate reason it becomes hugely popular, idiots will beat that thing to a lifeless pulp until every bit of awesomeness is completely drained out of it.

Many times they won’t stop there either. After they un-awesome the song, they’ll make 18 billion dog shit copy versions of that once awesome sound, ruining it for all time. Because if there’s one thing dog shit producers hate, it’s awesome music. It is in their nature to take anything awesome and turn it into dog shit as quickly as possible.

Keep music awesome, and don’t step in dog shit, even if it’s on the Internet.